...and do we even want to know?!
oh you poor, stupid girl. did i not tell you so many times? how could you not have known? they never leave their wives.
no matter what a catch you are, whether you’re clearly the better choice, his dream girl made flesh, The One…
he married her. her had a family with her. he gave her his last name and with it, security and peace of mind. ignorance is bliss, and she lives it. she will never know you existed, and if she ever found out, she wouldn’t believe it any way. and why should she? to her, he is Mr. Right, The Perfect Man, Mister Universe, her Better Half.
and i’m sure you were perfect for him. but so was every other side dish before you. you couldn’t have possibly believed you were the only one, that you were special. a guy like that? please. “too good to be true” always is.
and once you found out, you still just couldn’t stay away. i told you listen to the advice of the those who have walked that long mile, to learn from the mistakes of others. i wish you had.
i wish that you were more than just a memory. i wish that you had understood that the life that he walked away from was priceless still, and that you were a gem. i wish you had been stronger, smarter, more wise to the ways of this world. i wish i wasn’t angry with you. but i am. suicide is not painless. you succeeded, but i am hurting here.
i understand the escape, i know the desperation. i’m upset with you, but i will not tarnish the memory of the sweet soul that you were with the remembrance of what i feel for you now. this too shall pass, as have you.
"A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they will never sit in." -Greek Proverb
Food for thought. We are all so wrapped up in the here-and-now, in ourselves, in our livelihood. We often forget that we human beings we are naturally social, and are capable of innumerable selfless acts when focused on the greater good. We can do so much more than just get by, than feel the daily grind.
A former professor used to talk at length about the importance of losing the self—meaning, stop thinking about yourself in high regard. Become humble, and identify with your fellow man. Work hard to improve not just your own condition, but the quality of life for others. Stand up for those who have fallen, support those whose feet have no firm ground, and look at the condition of your heart instead of your checkbook.
My 4th graders unanimously decided as a class to sponsor two orphans from whichever location the need for help is most prevalent. Each student will donate $6 a month out of their own pocket money—not asking mom or grandpa, but from their own allowance and such. One girl thought it poignant to add that there are people here in our own backyard that need help too. Another boy pointed out that we waste so much without thinking because we are in a privileged position to take things for granted.
This week the students started recycling programs and organized a charity garage sale event in addition to supporting orphans. Their parents have mentioned how much they learn from and are inspired by their children. These kids are truly innocent and untainted. They have a lot more to learn about the ugly side of life, and I hope they survive those lessons when it’s their time—but for now, I look at them and see every hope and dream I have for humanity. They are the reason why I became a teacher. They are the reason that someone else will find hope and help and support in a cold, cruel world. They are my little rays of sunshine—and for someone like myself who has spent most of her life in the dark, they add meaning to my life. I love teaching, but not so I can hear myself talk—because I learn a lot and I benefit immensely from experiencing the true greatness of people… that good and that optimism and that concern that children succumb to, that as we grow older many of us have fought off in the name of survival.
I hope they always retain some part of who they are right now today. I hope they look back at 4th grade and remember how giddy they felt at all these prospects for making a difference in the world.
We are capable of great things when our intentions are correct and our minds are focused. I’m not an optimist by any means, but I do try to always positively reframe my understanding of things. And the reality of it all is: we could be so much more as a people, as a society, as a species. Why isn’t that as important to use anymore? Haven’t you grown tired yet of all the news from around the world? When will “too close for comfort” galvanize your action plan? The simplest thing we can do is support educational programs and opportunities. Knowing is half the battle, right?